Poetry

I AM FINE By Ope Dara

Written by Bada Yusuf Amoo

I showed only want(what) I wanted to show you
The day I showed you the blisters in my skin
It amused you, you told me others suffer such fate
The day I want(ed) you to listen to the death gong
Ringing in my ears
You underestimated the potency of an unstable mind
The day I walked in, with tears on my face
To you, I was just a spoilt brat, who knew no suffering
The day I found out nothing will change
That you’ll continue to measure other people’s pain to mine
I shut your comparison
And showed you only what you luv(love) to see
Flamboyant lifestyle like death(is never) so near
Fake laugh from a lips full of torns
Most days when I could barely eat
I told you I AM FINE
When I saw shadows of death on
The pages of my notebooks
I told you I AM FINE
When my room was a cemetery
Of a living dead
I told you I AM FINE
When I couldn’t bath, brush and eat
And stare into space
I told you I AM FINE
When I could hardly walk on street
I told you I AM FINE
Because in your definition of ‘ fine’ in your small brain
Only people with finance problem, relationship problem
And family problem have audacity
To say they are not fine
What of me
Who could hardly live
In the cloak of brain and mind depression
I am not fine
I am not fine
How can I be fine,
When my Antidepressants
Don’t even work
When I step out, is like death is near
When I study I forget
And fuck up during exams,
Then I suddenly hate school
When I am with friends
Yet I feel so lonely
A compulsion to flee and hide
When I wake up daily
My heart contrast
Like I am about to get heart attack
How can I be fine ?
When I am barely living but sinking?
When you see this
You won’t see me again,
Because , life dealt me a blow
And I am too weak to take it
But dearest, you’ll meet my note
Read and ignore
You never care
I am nothing but a dead woman

About the author

Bada Yusuf Amoo

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