By John Chizoba Vincent

He promised to marry me when I am pregnant for him. That night I decided to give him my body, soul and spirit. We were on bed together telling each other how much we love ourselves and how we could kill to make sure no one or anything come between us.

Williams was a great man whose smiling radiates and glows like the sun, whenever he smiled to me, I’m always at peace with myself. He was cute and lovely. He loved to caress me and tell me love stories which were made to water my emotions and soiled my feelings for good. I never dreamt of any other man rather than Williams; whose laughter breaks the sadness of my soul.

I gave him my life since he promised to marry me if he sees that I am pregnant. He told me the last lady that he had an affair with could not get pregnant for him for eight years that was why his mother had to chase her away. I was ready to do anything for him because I loved him, I was ready to break my vow of not getting pregnant until I get married, I was ready to overlook my parents advice and allow Williams to take that which makes me a woman, I was ready to let go of everything in my life and I allow him to baptize my life with his glittering words. I still remembered his words before he took it; he said to me, ” Roses are made for special people and one of the roses made for me is you, and I am here to explore into this rose and make myself a delicious meal”

We both laughed and I allowed him to go into me, he took the virginity I have been keeping for the right man and I saw his smile after that incident. I watched my blood prowled down from the bed to the ground, my tears hunt for freedom from pains and sorrow but I thrust on with myself to accept the fact that we are meant to be because, if we are not, he won’t have taken my pride that night. We hug each other tight in the young night and allow our hearts to tour through the happy night which watched us with eager eyes from a far distance. Our lives were at its peak, our joy a butterfly that watered the earth and enslaved bitterness.

After some weeks later, I was pregnant for Williams and; happily I ran from my house to his to inform him of the new development. At the door of their house, I meet his mother who was coming out from the house with a bowl on her left hand and she wore a carton colour shirt and tied a yellow wrapper which was designed with a catholic pope pictures and there on the back of her cloth was inscribed “Motherhood experience hurt when it has no good start”. She smiled at me as she sighted me, my heart sagged at the sight of her glamorous face, she never liked me for once since me and her son was in relationship. I was surprise to see her smiled at me.

“Good morning ma” I greeted

“Good morning, Ella” she replied “how are you doing”

” I am good, please is Williams in?”

” No, I hope there is no problem”

” I– I — I-” I stammered in fear

“Williams travelled to USA last week; he had gone to the US, Ella.”

My mouth went wide open unable to utter a word, I left ashamed of myself, ashamed of selling myself to Williams who came like unblemished lamb and destroy my future. I left crying of tomorrow; bringing into this world a child that would wake up one day and ask me about his father and, I would not have anything to tell him of his father’s where about. Shame crowded my being but I must move on with the baby in me. I saw what being honest as a woman towards a man could cause to a woman. I never know love could feel like a heart attack; worst thing I ever had in my life, I was afraid of losing myself if I ever lose Williams in the arms of another woman. Abortion is not an option to me; no, it’s never what I believe I could see myself going through it.

When my parents learnt about the pregnancy, my father was angry with me; he cried loud to the hearing of the walls in the compound, my mother was also disappointed with me. She was demoted from the seat of a chair lady in the woman association in the church because I was pregnant to an unknown man according to them. Everything came clashing upon my life. Fate was against me; the wind spoke of evil about me.

With the annoyance and bitterness of the incident, I was chased out of home to go and meet to Williams. During this period, I was away from home, life became more unkind to me; to the unborn child I harbored in my womb; to the air and the roads I walked on. No one seemed to know if I ever exist or if I have joined my ancestor in the world beyond but in all, I moved on with courage and confident that Williams would come home soon to stay by my side; I was certain that the arms of Williams would hold and cover me soon but when would he come to end this madness he created?

I went to meet my friend who accommodated me for a while but later moved out of her house when she began to act abnormal to get my own apartment with some money I saved while selling sachet-water in Lagos traffic.

Some few months later, I bathed Obiajulu, whose face shone brighter than his father’s, at the sight of this young toddler on my laps, I remember Williams and his handsome face that attracted me to condemnations.

Twelve years later, I still sit at the front door waiting for the day Williams would come home to see me and his bouncing boy who looked nothing less than him. He had not called me for the last twelve years and his mother refused to give me his number. I have tried getting in touch with him but all to no avail. I still wait for Williams’ home coming like where farmers wait anxiously for the new rain to plant their crop seedlings.

About the author


Bada Yusuf Amoo holds B.A in Literature in English from Obafemi Awolowo University, he is the publisher of thespeakingheart.com. He started the website in 2015, he has published both his works and other budding writers and poets on the website. He is a public commentators and his articles are on different websites.